Conversations at a Beauty counter

Me: “Excuse me, do you sell any peel off masks?”

*Shanna, a middle aged Caucasian woman looks up from the shelf where she’s stocking product*

Shanna: “Um….? what do you mean?”

Me: “You know, you put them on your face, they dry fairly fast and then you PEEL them OFF? Gets rid of dry skin?”

(geeze, it looks like I’m doing a great job at selling this product to myself)

Shanna: “Oh. Those. Well here’s one. * she hands me a small tube of orangish looking gel labeled $50.00 *  ” But the only other one I can think if is the “Black Mask””

Me:  “black mask?”

Shanna:   “Yes.  Hey SHAWN !!!”

 *She yells towards the back of the store*

*in walks an attractive affrican american guy*

                “Show her the “Black Mask””

Shawn: “OH. I get it. Get ME to advertise the black mask….” (in a slightly annoyed tone)

I force some awkward laughter as I look at the sleek black tube he hands me.

I quickly scan through the ingredients and then squeeze a little on my finger to test the consistency. Out oozes this heavy, jet black  slimy sludge which causes me to exclaim: “WOAH!”

Shawn: “Wha?”

Me: “THATs……”   *I was searching for the right word, disgusted by the texture, but completely caught off guard by the unusual appearance for a facial product.

“Thats really BLACK! I guess I was just expecting it to be  white…..”

I trailed off as the reality of my words left me  dumb as a mime while I started waving my hands around in an attempt to apologetically backpedal.

Oh no. This. isn’t. HAPPENING!  Its like one of those dramatic slow motion sequences  in movies, each of my words are coming out far too slow as his eyebrows are slanting downward even faster.

Shawn: “What’s wrong with BLACK?!!?”

I honestly cannot recall what came out of my mouth next.  “Eeeeek!”

I’d like to think it was something like: “Oh this mask looks so lovely and unique but I don’t think it’s what I’m looking for.”

Instead I think it sounded close to: “Oh, no…you see lots of masks like people with different skin colors I like masks and black and white ones and people too…are you going to hurt me?”


2 thoughts on “Conversations at a Beauty counter

  1. Oh how i LOVE your blog annalise! As i sat here dying laughing (tears flowing out of my eyes) i forced josh to come take a look…he didn’t even let out an awkward laugh. what the…? how did i marry someone with no sense of humor? anyway. I absolutely loved this story, what made it even better is i felt like i was there…oh i wish i was! I love you, I love your creativity, i love your gorgeous pictures! LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!
    p.s. not that your picture taking abilities weren’t already fantastic, but you are getting so good at taking pictures! Keep it up! You’re amazing!

  2. when i visited ellis island when i was 15 i started doing that thing where you are singing out loud without being aware of what song you are singing unless you stop to listen. i think it was away down south in dixie or something… i was singing something about picking cotton while waiting in line bc i am a space cadet, and there was this black employee walking to and fro and my friend and mother were like SHHHHHH and i was like huh??
    you’re a good writer

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