Me: “Excuse me, do you sell any peel off masks?”
*Shanna, a middle aged Caucasian woman looks up from the shelf where she’s stocking product*
Shanna: “Um….? what do you mean?”
Me: “You know, you put them on your face, they dry fairly fast and then you PEEL them OFF? Gets rid of dry skin?”
(geeze, it looks like I’m doing a great job at selling this product to myself)
Shanna: “Oh. Those. Well here’s one. * she hands me a small tube of orangish looking gel labeled $50.00 * ” But the only other one I can think if is the “Black Mask””
Me: “black mask?”
Shanna: “Yes. Hey SHAWN !!!”
*She yells towards the back of the store*
*in walks an attractive affrican american guy*
“Show her the “Black Mask””
Shawn: “OH. I get it. Get ME to advertise the black mask….” (in a slightly annoyed tone)
I force some awkward laughter as I look at the sleek black tube he hands me.
I quickly scan through the ingredients and then squeeze a little on my finger to test the consistency. Out oozes this heavy, jet black slimy sludge which causes me to exclaim: “WOAH!”
Me: “THATs……” *I was searching for the right word, disgusted by the texture, but completely caught off guard by the unusual appearance for a facial product.
“Thats really BLACK! I guess I was just expecting it to be white…..”
I trailed off as the reality of my words left me dumb as a mime while I started waving my hands around in an attempt to apologetically backpedal.
Oh no. This. isn’t. HAPPENING! Its like one of those dramatic slow motion sequences in movies, each of my words are coming out far too slow as his eyebrows are slanting downward even faster.
Shawn: “What’s wrong with BLACK?!!?”
I honestly cannot recall what came out of my mouth next. “Eeeeek!”
I’d like to think it was something like: “Oh this mask looks so lovely and unique but I don’t think it’s what I’m looking for.”
Instead I think it sounded close to: “Oh, no…you see lots of masks like people with different skin colors I like masks and black and white ones and people too…are you going to hurt me?”